NOBODY MOVE! THIS IS A STRIP SEARCH!

as ya kno ive found my new thing w my hippies. my friend john who we call hippie has taught me i dont needa be so angry n peace is not just bein in a place a comfort but calmness in yr heart

-peace

Last nite i went 2 c shiney toy guns, tom, the all american rejects, n 3 doors down! lol ya i couldnt stop swayin my buddy joey hada hold me still so i didnt fall all over evey1 but ya it was fun n im currently recovering from concert-drag and whiplash lol see ya love ya

-peace

ZZZZZ i got nothin>>>>> 

Well it seems i hav no friends at the time being so there ain't no specific names on here but i love all off you so muchers its kinda sad to love someone who don't love you back and then those ppl talk about other ppl being backstabbers and sayin how bein a backstabber is some cold shit but they backstabbered me so ya i don't quite get it all that muchers..... well hmm if yr reading this u'll probably kno if yr the backstabbererer or not

pshhhhha im sowy i havnt been on l8ly ive been sooo busy n stuff w/ all dis drama crap but im bac and im awsum _as always_ so ja im really bored n i waz just wondering if any1 waz plannin on tlkin anytyme soon COZ I MISS U ALL SO MUCH I LOVE YOU ALL VERY MUCH TTYL LOVES

Livy da rockstar

lolzx i had da most wondaful tyme last nyte i finally went 2 tempe 2 c mcr n omfgs dey did sooooo good dey jus keep gettin betta everytyme i c dem ignorin meh total riplash i feel sooo much betta bout everytin ryte now i went n i listened 2 DRIVE BY (u guys should totaly check dem out), saw stevo, 8 pizza,met 2 chix, made a hook up 4 monday, and saw MCR n i got 2 go in da VIP pit n i waz so close gerard sweat on meh afta da show waz ova i went bacstage n he HUGGED meh n omfgs he smelled sooo bad but he waz sooo smexci da way he gave meh a hug outta no where so ya i headed home got mo drunk n crashed on da couch n meh new MCR hoodie lolzx n now i am still high from all da pot we were smokin it waz fun man if u werent smokin u wood still get high from da air bein filled w/ a whole buncha shit lolzx SO LONG N GOODNYTE MEH FUTURE ROCKSTARS

WELL mi day waz borin n crappy

• i MISS kyle
• i cant go anywhere
• im bored
• im hungry
• mi hair is a mess
• mi mom wont leave mi da fuck alone
• n if i dont shut up i myt get mi laptop tooken away AGAIN
• i broke a glass cup n it shatered n ALL da pieces went in2 mi foot
• n NO1 IS ON DA FUCKIN COMPUTA
• n 2TOP ALL DAT OFF.............. ebed n geoffie r still mad @ mi goshers tlk bout holdin a grudge >=P

i waz hangin out downtown n dere waz dis guy who wanted 2 tak mi hom but i really finally for onc didnt wanna sleep w/ sum1 so he took a glass bottl n hit mi ova da head w/ it so ya i wok up in sum strangas house w/ a killa headache den i waz walkin home n i got rox thrown @ mean by junkies n den i cam home drank sumtin passed out n now mi head hurts but @ least mi friendz r here 2 cheer mi up yay!

MAN EBED IS FUCKIN ALIV THANK DA FUCKIN GODS!!!!!!! man im so fuckin happy dat hes aliv i went 2 his hous 2day jus 2 mak sur he waz dead n he OPENED DA DOOR!!! I waz sooo shocked i dropped mi jaw, jumped in2 his arms in fuckin kissed him!!! i didnt even car at da moment i waz datin sum1 i waaz jus sooo happy n den he looked @ mi weird n said, "who da hell r u?" n i waz lik, "u dont memba mi im olivia u no we'r engaged n im da 1 u knocked off da roof on accident?" but he jus wiped his lips in said, "im not engaged n i dont no u get away b4 i call da cops!" i waz all "wat u dont memba mi?" he baced up n closed da door sayin, "wat r u sum kinda freak?" i waz lik left so confused so i yelled so he could hear though da door, "Ebi its mi dont u memba y dont u memba mi, Ebi! wait dont u memba ur nicnam i gav u Ebi!?!" i heard him twist da knob n he opened it "Ebi? how do u no dat nam no1 calls mi dat but.... OLIVIA? omg i memba now!!!" i waz al lik, "ya Ebi i new ud memba mi wat happened man i seriously thought u fogot mi"

ya its long but dont jus skim cuz its such a godd story u wont wanna miss a word guyz oky i promise

 

I didn't want to depart my home town, which I've been settling ever since the day I was born. Neither do I want to leave my school, relatives, and most importantly my best friend Samuel.

Sam and I had been best friends since elementary school. I still recall the day when we first met; it was the first day of grade 1 and we were in the same class. Unintentionally I collided with his head trying to reach for my pencil that had been knocked out on the floor. Fortunately I didn’t know that he was trying to reach for it too. From that time on we got close, share lunch, talk and became best friends. We’d hang around together as often as I’d hang around with my family. He’s like my brother; a brother who I could lean to when I have problems, a brother who’s always there for me when I’m in trouble, a brother who loved me for me… at least as a sister. What he didn’t know is that I am deeply in love with him ever since the day we first met; which saddens me the most, assuming that he only thinks of me as his sister.

In sixth grade, in spite of this, things changed. We had been together for 5 implausible years, but this year is diverse. I was moving. Moving far away from him, it’s like a new world I’m getting myself into. My deep profoundness love for him is still there and I don’t want to leave him. We agreed to call each other at least twice a week, send letters and emails if we have time, and stay in touch with each other. Except that, it wouldn’t be the same, it wouldn’t be like old times, we wouldn’t see each other except in pictures, we couldn’t do anything together now. We couldn’t be there for each other, all the time anymore. Furthermore we are two continents away from each other. And I wanted to confess. Tomorrow, I decided.

The day of the departure came but he was nowhere in sight. I tried calling his cell but no one was answering it. I was so worried and sad that he forgot about my departure. I left the country heartbroken and thinking that maybe he had a good excuse why he didn’t go.

One year had passed and still no sign of him. I tried calling his home every once in a while but his mother would always say, “Oh he’s not here, but I’ll tell him you called!” and I would be so depressed. Sometimes I just think that he’s been avoiding my calls. But why I wondered

I was going off to grade 9. I hadn’t been getting any emails or letters from him; or hadn’t been getting any at all. I tried to tell myself that, “Its okay Katherine, he’s just busy that’s all.” However I had my doubts. What if he’s not busy at all? What if he forgot about me? What if he got a girlfriend and been too busy to talk or even stay in touch with me? A lot of what ifs’ are on my head. I tried emailing him and writing letters but there was no reply. What if all my what ifs’ came true? Then maybe I should be pleased, pleased for the reason that he’s happy. On the contrary why didn’t he tell me?

2 years had passed and still no sign of his letters or emails or phone calls. I tried to get over him. I really tried but I can’t. I just couldn’t forget the fact that I love him.

One week later, I received a letter from his home address, accusing it was him I ripped it open. I was so anxious to read his letter that I skipped a couple of parts, that I thought wasn’t that important. Unfortunately, it is important. It says that he’s sick and is in a coma. I was so shocked to see this that I ran inside to tell my parents to get me a ticket back to see him. Luckily they approved and booked me the latest flight.

I preceded to the hospital his in. I was so worried to see him, concerned that he’s undergoing from a poor health. When I got in his room my heart raised and kept thumping on my chest. I noticed him lying there with bandages all over his body. I felt sorry for him. All this time I was blaming him of overlooking me while his being diagnosed. I had a talk with his mom and she told me what had happened to him. She assumed that he was crossing the street while he was writing in a book and a truck had hit him. That book was sadly addressed to me, it has no title its cover is blank. I opened it and started reading the first page.

September 17, 200*

“This is the day I left.” I thought.

Katherine left today. I’m so upset to see her leave. That’s why I didn’t go to the airport at all. But I tried to go realizing that I had to confess my love for her before she leaves but I was too late. I’m going to miss her so bad. All the good times we had will never be forgotten. I wish I could come with her. I love her so very much.

My tears started falling. I admired him. I was in awe. He made a diary for me starting with the day I left. And what mostly saddened me is the fact that he loved me too. I scanned through pages and read the last page he had written on.

March 26, 200*

I can’t wait for Kath to see what I had done for her. I hope she’ll like it. I just miss her so bad. I wish she was here right now in my arms holding me tight and wishing she wouldn’t be away anymo ---

And it was cut right there. I couldn’t imagine the scene how it happened. I saw a glimpse of him again and a tear fell on my cheeks. I hold his hand so tight. That time I had wished that I hadn’t left and be with him throughout this tough time. There was this throb in my chest. I scanned again and all the other pages are blank. A letter dropped when I was about to close it.

Dear Kath,

If you are done reading my diary I want you to fill out the other half of this book. I miss you so bad, Kath. I’m sorry if I keep missing your calls I was just too busy with work. Yeah, Kath I’m working now so I could surprise you and go there and maybe finish my school there. I can’t wait to see you soon. I’m also sorry that it took me 2 years to get this to you its just that I didn’t know your address there and I had to look for your relatives to tell me your address, and about the email thing I tried to email you back but our computer is really messed up; I ought to get the fix sometime so I could email you. I’m really sorry if you thought that I don’t care about you, I do. I really do. I love you since the first day we met it’s just that I was too scared to confess because it might ruin our friendship and that I think that you only think of me as a brother. I love you Kath, I love you with all my heart and I’m sacrificing everything just to be with you.

With Love,
Sam

By the time I was done reading his letter. I heard a beep it was coming from him. I was stunned. I dropped the book and ran towards him and started calling the nurse.

“Stay with me please, stay with me… don’t leave me please. I can’t let you leave me. Please. I. Love. You.” I cried as the tears fell. I was shaking. I didn’t want him to die. I didn’t want him to leave me. I want him to be here by my side comforting me, and telling me that it was all a joke. But it’s not a joke. It’s reality. He’s dead and here I am living my life through pages in the diary. I filled the rest of the book. I even started a new book since it couldn’t hold all my memories and thoughts of him. And I will always remember him. How he had been a good friend. How he helped me through bad times. How he loved me so much that I didn’t want to let go. I will not forget him. He had been the best inspiration of my life. He is the best of friend anyone could ever have. I will not forget him. I love him.

“C’mon Kath, were going to be late for school!” Mark shouted through our front door. Mark had been my friend since the day I first came to his school. He had been a good friend, almost as good as Sam. He kind of reminds me of Sam. Sometimes when I'm with Mark, I kind of think that Sam sent him to guide me and to be with me just like he did for me when he was alive."Coming!” I shouted back. This is a fresh new start and a beginning of an ideal friendship. Or so I thought.

Well ive offically declared Ebed dead 2day i havnt heard from him i like 3 dayz i went 2 da hospital n he waznt dere so i asked da doc n hes all "we dont sisclose info on r patients unless whoevea is askin is family". so ya u can imagin y dat pissed mi off. So i went 2 his house n no 1 answered n i heard his mom sobbin lik bawlin so i walked away. so im no longer avoidin all da truth ima stand tall in tak da hug hints dat hes dead dat r hittin mi ryt in da fac n say "hes gon" mi olny q is did he pass on n if he did is he in hell ya he did do a lot of bad stuff he waz a regular teen did drugs drank n in his cas slept w/ 2 many ppl but i mean every1s dun dat stuff ryt? hmmm i wonda o well im not gunna break down cuz 2 tell u da truth i waz kinda xspectin it

any1 who want a fun luvin gurl needs 2 get in lyn yeppers even gurl she bi lolzx just go 2 her page shes SINGLE her name is gerardslovelol go ask her out she needs sum1 who will luv her ryte she has brown she has brown beautiful eyez she is just a little cutie so go snatch her up b4 tyme runs out wat ur u still doin here go get her!!!!!

man i feel alone so alone i dont wanna b alone i mean ya i get hugs all da tyme but its neva enough i need sum1 i can sit down w/ n tlk 2 sum1 dat wont freak out wen i say sumtin wierd or stpid or totly unnecessary. I dont no wat 2 do n da mo i keep all my feelin insid da mo i need 2 cut dem out. n now im super depressed n axious cuz i just heard dat my friend is in sergury again at least i got 2 say goodbye dis tyme cuz 2 tell u da truth hes not gunna mak it hes not dun healin fully hes weak n hes just idk i just hav dat feelin like u now its gunna happen so ya ima tear my arm up cuz i no hes dead im sittin by da phone waitin fo his mom 2 call n say da weddin is off n day hes dead n ya so ya *sigh so i guess next tyme i type its probaly bcuz hes dead oky boi *tears& =_{

Well my therapist found out i waznt takin my meds so now im in trouble i hav 2 do all dis xtra crazy shit dat im not required 2 do now i hate therapy it sux i wish i didnt hav 2 tlk 2 sum1 i dont even no personally sumpplz say therapy workx but it doesnt fo me it makes me mo depressed but if i dont do it dey'll send me bac 2 dat place were u get locked in a room w/ blank blue walls it makes ppl "break" dats wat da gaurd said n hell ya it makes u break it snaps u bac in2 reality man its torture n bcids if i go bac i cant tlk 2 non of u so i'll just tak my meds even if dey make mi sad or really really hyper

OMG Ebed lived omg im so happy hes alive i saw him in the recovery room at the hospital hes so relaxed when he isnt on crack i love that boi so much i so want to marry him but im not in love w/ him anymore. I cried by his side for 1 1/2 hours i swear i waz so happy the only thing that made me sad is the doc came in and told me he is mute now.

Mute? How could he be mute what does that mean what it means he cant talk and they said its not temperay and if it is it will last for at least 2 yrs or so. Im mean he can tlk but it sound like hes mentally ill no kidding i know because when i left i thought he was asleep (KYLE DONT GET MAD) i told him how much i loved him n how much he meant to me and then (like i said dont get mad) i kissed him not like a kiss goodbye like full on kissing and i guess he was pretending to be sleeping and he lifted his arm up and pushed me closer to him. i moved away only cuz the stupid doc made me and walk out the door and he said , " Percy says hi and that he loves you but i loved u so much more."

Oky so i asked the doc if he died and he said ," Yes he did he is very lucky to be here we almost lost him he has suffered some brain damage though we are going to run more tests on him." I almost broke down i thought i was gunna die where i waz standing wat did he mean brain damage no!!! no! no! no! so he has brain damage he cant tlk ryte but hes alive n i guess thats all that counts

N thank u Kyle fo being there im sorry i threatened to leave u cuz i waz only thinking of myself and not u or any1 else who myte actually care fo me

Poor Ebi man he has to go into surgery again but its different this time because this time he has a 25% chance of living through the ooperation the mass with cancer is near his heart in between his lungs and its causing something that i dont know how to spell and he has another one near his stomache behind the intestines or something im seriously worried im sitting in the hospital waiting with his mother it will be another 2 hours if he makes it out alive. I cant stop crying n i dont want to leave but the doctor keeps telling me to because im not family i mean hell ya im family i love that boy i loved him like a brother this is bullshit!!! I am not leaving untill i know he is all right what am i talking about *cries* he going to be oky right? right? If he doesnt make it i dont know what in the world i'll do i mean i cant just sit here and wait for them to come out and say hes dead i cant i didnt even get to say goodbye its not fair it not fair i dont want him to leave i need him to stay i cant take anymore death i will be unstable for months i mean im still recovering from Corry's death i cant have Ebed dead to he was so nice. What did he ever do GOD? What do u have against him he didnt do anything wrong and u know it he didnt do anything wrong he didnt why him y not me you cant let him die you cant u cant please. I wish i never met Ebed because it seems everyone who i cared about has some kind of drastic change in their death after i meet them and i do blame myself!!!! I have to go home now they are kicking me out i hate doctors they can rott in a ditch for all i care.

Man i am fallin in luv w/ both my best friendz dis is bad idk wat 2 do how do u stop urself from fallin in luv its so hard i mean i luv my friendz i really do but i dont wanna screw thingz up by tellin dem i like dem 2 much dat wood just b so weird n wow i dont wanna fall in luv mo so i dont no if i should keep away from um or just not look at dem or tlk 2 dem well 1 of um i cant look at only tlk but ............... crap i am so confused any1 got advice at all?

GOD DAMNIT anotha motha fucker decides 2 blow me da fuck off i swear

i didnt tell u guys dat i had a new bf cuz i didnt wanna spill yet but Jesus man dis guy Eric blew me off on ur date man fuck him im pissed dis is y i dont like guyz bcuz dey ur stuck up fuckin bastards dat just wanna sleep w/ u n dat a me n him did well not sleep w/ each other but we came REALLY close  so now im breakin up w/ him n its not da first tyme hes dun dis in da passed day he has blown me off 3 tymes IT IS SOOVA DAT BITCH IMA STAB HIM IN DA FACE bsides hes just a jerk 2 me round his friendz i just wanna slice my wrist so bad i cant find anyting dough motha earth damnit

THANK U GOD I FOUND A RAZOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ugh instead of cutting again im gunna write all my crap or type wateva

I got one guy on da side idk if we're goin out n its confusin' cuz he sorta asked me out so idk wat im doin

i got 1 otha guy ova on da other side dat has a gurlfriend n he likes me n i went ova dere n she waz yellin at him in stuff n den she saw me n she broke up w/ him n now all da sudden dere bac 2gether n i still luv him but hes a jerk 2 me wen hes round his friendz n i dontif its worth tryin anymo

den i hav another guy dat i really really really lik n man ppl say he likes me 2 but idk if dey messin w/ me ur not but hes really sweet n nice but his friendz just try 2 pull us apart n shit so ya not movin foward w/ dis 1

n finally dere's da gurl og course i really do luv her but she doesnt really c dat i tell her i luv her al da tyme but she either thx im kiddin or lyin so .ya i broke up w/ her a long tyme ago cuz it wasnt workin but i guess we still friendz but i0 just wish we could b so much mo but its immpossible

n dere's another gurl dat said she doesnt thx im serious enough im meanim serious wen i try n im not givin up man i swear im serious bout her but i thx shes noticin it cuz she said we can b friendz w/ benifetttttttttttttz so ya i'll b dere soon

dere i feel betta i dont thx i'll hav 2 cut anymo